About 5 Weeks to Go...

These days, I'm not bending over for anything but money and keys. And, I mean cash money. I can make a call about credit card, you know what I'm sayin'?

Sparkles is getting there...that's for sure.

My midwife was out of town last week so when I went in for my appointment, the midwife covering for her was all over my big belly. She doesn't know that I just grow big babies, so she measured me, tried to alarm me (which almost worked), and ordered an ultrasound that ended up not meaning a damn thing. Again, why does fear have to be pushed onto every pregnant woman in America???

I am quite large...it's impressive. If anything, I am just in awe of what my body can do without me even thinking about it. I don't have to think about little Sparkles' eyelashes or tonsils, they'll just be there when she's born.

This is a great argument to just keep my brain out of the birthing process...what do I know about birthing a baby? Nothing, but I presume that since my body can build a little perfect person and my baby knows just where to be and how to birth that if I can keep my brain out of it, it will all go perfectly well. Just like it has for the billions of other births that have occurred before Sparkles' birthing day.

Anyway, I am measuring (and so is Sparkles) about 3 1/2 weeks ahead of my due date. This doesn't necessarily mean that Sparkles will be early (but I did pack my bag and grab the car seat this week, just to be safe), but that she will just be big.

Big. Big deal. I already birthed a big baby.

But you should see me! I'm beyond enormous. Not kidding. When I left the midwife's office, the staff was placing bets on how big my baby would be....winner gets a free lunch. No shit.

One girl even guessed 10 lbs., 9 0z. Yikes. If these girls are impressed, then that's saying something. They see girls walk in and out of that office in varying sizes all day long, year after year.

But I'm not afraid. I refuse to be.

I'm far too excited to meet Sparkles.

Sparkles is LOW. Sometimes, I swear that I can feel her little fingers right by my la la. When I wake up in the morning, the insides of my thighs feel like I've been biking all night long. Plus, there is an enormous amount of pressure that I never had with Owen. Let's just say that you know your pregnancy has reached an all time low when you spend 50 bucks on a vulvar support belt.

Yikes.

So, I'll give you an idea of what I'm dealing with and why no one on God's green Earth can come within 20 feet of me without mentioning my huge baby. I'll shoot a picture later and post it. My neighbor that is due a couple weeks earlier than me is coming over for a belly photo shoot.

At least I don't have to hold my stomach in, right?

Right,

Cheri