There are lots of opinions about how different it is to carry a boy than it is to carry a girl. And then again, there is also the saying that every pregnancy is different regardless of the sex.
One thing I do think is quite silly is when you hear the comments that the way you carry the baby determines the sex. How could a little penis or lack thereof make the baby low or high on the mommy? That doesn't really speak to me.
I've only been pregnant twice. Once with a boy and now a girl.
All I can tell you is when I was pregnant with Owen, I wanted to have sex at least once a day, dreamt about sex every night and was dying to order a raw steak with a side of meatballs. My husband was usually appalled as I wasn't much of a meat eater before conceiving.
Now, pregnant with a girl, besides thinking about eating onions like apples, I'm very particular about all foods. I have eaten chicken for the first time in 15 years, find myself unusually unreasonable, using way more words than necessary to express myself, and weeping daily.
I just don't believe that this is a coincidence.
Before I was growing a little ball of testosterone and now I am growing a baby girl...and here I am, as emotional and girly-ed out as can be-cliches and all.
Sometimes when Andrew asks me why I'm crying, I search my day and thoughts for some explanation desperate to provide some reason. But, usually, I just answer truthfully and say, "I don't know."
With Owen, I felt pretty rotten and somewhat crabby until about 16 weeks. With this one, at 30 weeks, I still wake up with morning sickness in the middle of the night. I never felt well at the beginning and getting sick was instantaneous; often throwing up on myself or even my couch before I had time to get to a toilet.
Then, there are the symptoms that I have a hard time attributing to different sex pregnancies, much like where you carry your baby. I have so many more dreadful pregnancy symptoms with this baby than the last. Leg cramps, uncomfortable Braxton Hicks contractions, the inability to bend over comfortably, and bouts of dizziness. I've also had a sore throat now for about 4 or 5 months.
Does this mean that second pregnancies tend to be harder, like many of my friends preach, or is it a sex thing again?
On really tough days, when I can't bare to keep my eyes open or my spirits up, I tell myself that she is polishing off the creation of her pancreas today, or she's getting her white blood cells in order and ready to fight off infection, or she's putting together the future ability to be able to empathize or comfort someone else.
I absolutely adore my son. But as a woman, I can't help but think that there is more to creating a girl than a boy. I simply think that there is just more to us.
It seems easy to believe that I felt carefree and that all was right with the world while pregnant with my son. And just as easy to believe that I often feel filled with nostalgia thinking every moment has some special meaning riddled with sadness while pregnant with my daughter.
I heard from a friend once that your first trimester is your "Sick and Tired Mester." The second, your "Happy Mester" and your third, the "Big Mester." That didn't apply this time around. I found myself asking God, "What happened to my Happy Mester???"
And what's up with all of this fatigue??? When I was pregnant with Owen during my first trimester, I bent over to pet my cat and woke up 2 hours later. I remember thinking, it's a good thing I didn't have to go to work! This was amusing because my energy level got better the more pregnant I got.
Now, in my "Big Mester" I still can't get to sleep early enough. I put my toddler to bed at 7pm and often fall in right behind him.
Is this because I have to take care of a toddler all day? Is it a second pregnancy thing or again, a sex thing?
All I know is that things are definitely different this time around.
Boys. Girls.
We're all still pregnant with our perfect, little creations at the end of the day.
La,
Cheri
No comments:
Post a Comment