Sparkles is only 4 weeks old today and Owen was admitted to Scottish Rite Hospital yesterday...Needless to say, we got a lot going on over here at the Flake house.
Owen woke up Sunday morning as sick as his little self could be...scared out of his mind and covered with all the yucky stuff that is supposed to be on the inside of his little, sweet body.
Sparkles, on the other hand, hadn't made a diaper in a few days. After a quick suppository, you wouldn't believe the diaper situation over here...yikes!
Violet is doing great, but Owen however, has become quite dehydrated and a pretty sick little boy. As I write, we're waiting to hear from the doctor to see when or if he can be discharged today.
My mom and I sat first, the pediatrician's office, then, in the Emergency room and lastly, by Owen's big, scary, metal barred crib in his hospital room. Just a heart breaker to see your abundantly energetic, downright nutty toddler, lay listlessly all day and evening. When he did wake, he screamed and cried. It was just awful.
When he cried, he cried for his mommy, of course (My mom always jokes that football players never look into cameras and say, "hi dad!"). But, in an effort to prevent cross-contamination to Violet, my mom and I opted to split the kids up for care. She would take Owen and only Owen, and I would take Violet, and only Violet. The decision was a no-brainer. I have to nurse Sparkles, so we would be paired up.
It's one thing to have your baby yell, "mommy!" but a whole other ball game when you can't even touch him. My heart was pretty beat up by the end of the day and I swear, at 21 months, I think Owen became a little mad at me.
Oh, the guilt.
At one point, I couldn't help it, I threw on a hospital sheet and scooped him into my arms and kissed his sweet little head again and again.
Where did he get this? Could I have prevented it? What on Earth would happen to defenseless Violet if she gets it? As any mother would speculate, I was certain that this must, surely and somehow be my fault!
I must have washed my hands 150 times in that hospital room, until finally, Andrew came to stay with Owen overnight so I could get Sparkles, who hasn't had one vaccine shot yet, out of that place.
As "Atlanta's Stress Therapist" I have to say that I was pretty impressed how severe the effects of stress were at the end of the day yesterday. Not having done a damn thing physical (I'm still pretty postpartum), I fell into bed the most tired I have been in ages...and I just birthed a baby!
There are just so many things to worry about now...Not just one, but two! Not just Owen getting Violet sick, but Owen getting worse! Violet getting sick from all those sick kids in the hospital! Who else has Owen exposed??? The list goes on and on...
One walk to the cafeteria and I had about a million more ailments and worries to add to my quickly building repertoire. Kids and babies everywhere...so sick...some injured...absolutely heart breaking.
So, I haven't been able to write all the cute anecdotes, stories and witty nuances about my learning how to care for two because I've been busy doing the jobs that mothers do best: feeling guilty and worrying.
Riddled with guilt. Consumed with worry. I truly feel like a mother now. And now, with two, I have it all doubled.
Good times.
So, here is a prayer going out to all the little kids and babies in the hospital and they're mommies and daddies. God bless you all.
Prayers for Owen for a speedy recovery,
Cheri
P.S. Andrew called right before I clicked "publish post." Owen will be there overnight for another day...my poor baby.
4/21/11: Owen is home and safe and sound. Thank you all for your well wishes and concerns.
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